Oprah Winfrey’s writing a book about weight loss. And gain. And loss.

Oprah Winfrey, a self-confessed compulsive eater, has signed the biggest non-fiction book deal in history to write about her battle with the bulge.

Miss Winfrey, 52, the host of the highest-rated chat show in the world, is to be paid an undisclosed amount by Simon & Schuster. The publishers would reveal only that her deal would beat the record £6.4 million paid to Bill Clinton for his 2004 memoir, My Life.

Eat. Purge. Eat. Purge. Oprah should have herself on her talk show and tell herself that it’s okay, girl, just calm down. A very skinny black friend of mine has expressed to me that she wants to go on Oprah and tell her to stop going on about fat this, skinny that. The gist was, “Skinny got issues too and don’t get me wrong, I love my Oprah.”