I took the day off yesterday, and guess what I did all day. You’ll never. Go ahead. Nope. I wrote a poem. No shit. I do that sometimes. But I also wandered unescorted onto the deck of a military sub parked in the harbour. Apparently security isn’t as tight up here as it is in New York where I used to live. Otherwise, I’d probably still be in a detention cell, crying and admitting to having joined the Taliban or something. See, I had seen a couple people who looked like they were civilians come out of the hole in the top, so I just stepped onto the ramp and strolled over. When I stepped down onto the deck the guys with the guns just kind of looked at me expectantly for a moment and I said, “Can I get a tour?” They looked at each other for a moment and then one said, “No tours, no photos.” What I thought was, Hmm, perhaps you could have told me that with a sign or pointed gun before I ambled across the gang plank and was standing over the open hatch—but what I SAID was, “Oh, sorry, boys” and I turned and strolled off.  “No problem,” one said in return. I love living in Canada.

Sarah Palin to continue inflicting herself on the collective mind like an oozing boil on the ass of good taste

Borders to help children’s library replace stolen books…

Atlantic Canada doesn’t just look at the scenery, breathe the fresh air and listen to music, it also reads

You could have Capote’s Brooklyn brownstone for a paltry $18M…

Brit publishers not worried that new government will slowly erode freedoms and systematically undermine cultural endeavour as is happening here in Canada

Tyra Banks to write series of fantasy novels about models… … … … Naw, too easy

Waterstones rebranding

Would Google settlement cause diplomatic stress? I don’t know, but I’m pretty sure the endless fucking noodling on it is causing carpal tunnel sydrome in my wrists