Old Site


Bookninja 2.0:



.

Hearsay:

July 28, 2009

Worst children’s books ever?

You know how I feel about Love You Forever, right? Creepiest fucking book ever written. It’s like Stephen King’s Misery, but for toddlers. In fact, it’s not even for toddlers. It’s an enabling work for possessive parents with abandonment issues. I always imagine the title being whispered in a sinister, possessed voice over windchimes tinkling in a minor key. “Love You… FOREVER….” That mother is psychotic. I’m not trying to be funny here, people. Someone seriously needs to institutionalize that woman. Well, my other pet peeve is The Giving Tree, in which a little sociopath allegorically (and inadvertently) illustrates everything that’s wrong with the patriarchy/capitalism by absent mindedly using and abusing a mother/nature figure. Thankfully, someone else has got my back.

The Giving Tree, by Shel Silverstein. I guess that this is a pretty common target in these kinds of discussions, but damn is it ever deserved. Tree loves boy. Boy loves tree. Boy grows up. Boy exploits tree. Tree takes it all silently, growing less happy with each lonely year. Boy gets old, tree is a stump, boy sits on tree, no apologies. I mean, I get the point: the tree loves the boy. But heck, even Jesus was able to rise triumphant when all was said and done; couldn’t Silverstein have made the love at least a little more, you know, mutual? (Other questions: Why didn’t the tree’s apples grow back? And how did the boy build himself and his family a house out of branches?)

Anyone have titles to add to this?

Share the 'Ninja with your 2.0 friends:
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • del.icio.us
  • LinkedIn
  • Digg
  • RSS
  • Print
  • email

11 comments on “Worst children’s books ever?”

  1. Dave says:

    Anything by Madonna

  2. Niteowl says:

    Oh come on, it’s not like we even KNOW Lourdes, let alone enough to pass judgment on her like that.

  3. John Mutford says:

    It was Bart Simpson that wrote, “The Giving Tree is a chump.”

    One of my least favourites is Margaret Wise Brown’s Good Night Moon. I’m also with you on Love You Forever.

  4. patricia says:

    I feel vindicated. I never read Good Night Moon as a kid, and when I read it as an adult, my thought was, wtf??

    Ok, I’m gonna go out on a limb here…I reread Babar as an adult, and um…it really creeped me out.

  5. Jason says:

    Since somebody mentioned Babar, the New Yorker’s Adam Gopnik wrote an interesting article on the controversies and political interpretations surrounding it:

  6. patricia says:

    Yes, I remember that article. Fascinating stuff. Babar is still creepy, though.

  7. Gee says:

    Also any children’s book by Margaret Atwood. – Honey, you’re a celebrated author but that doesn’t mean you can master any genre. Children’s literature should be more respected. I hate that everyone thinks they can just put out any old crap they think up as children’s book.

    The book with purple in the title was particularly awful.

  8. Pete says:

    Read Goodnight Bush to your kids instead of Goodnight Moon – they’ll get a lot more out of it. For one thing, the adult Dubya is on the same intellectual level as they are. They can relate to him, even if they
    find him a bit silly and/or scary.

    Also, has anybody else noticed that the illustrations in The Giving Tree don’t quite synch with the narrative? When the boy is at the “I want to get married and start a family” age (presumably in his twenties), the illustration makes him look like a paunchy middle-aged man. And when he’s about to retire (65-ish), he already looks like a decrepit geezer. As for the narrative, don’t even get me started on how he built both a house and a boat from a single tree. But despite all that, I actually like the story for its unconditional, love-your-kids-even-if-they-don’t-reciprocate-but-instead-endlessly-exploit-you message.

  9. Mark Leslie says:

    I’ve always found the “Pat the Bunny” series a little disturbing because it was asking kids to “pet” the spot pretty much between the legs of the little bunny character. How rude!!!

  10. Maggie Clark says:

    The Hockey Sweater! What a horribly depressing ending!

  11. Fuse #8 says:

    Rainbow Fish. Jane Yolen once said that the Triumvirate of Mediocrity was Love You Forever, The Giving Tree and Rainbow Fish. Trust me on this one.

Discuss

Latest comments:
raspberry ketone diet on
Comics
raspberry ketone plus on
Comics
forex trading on
Comics
forex trading on
Comics
binary options trading on
Comics
binary options on
Comics
blackhat forum on
Discussion: On Sex in Fiction
poker real money on
Comics
online poker sites on
Comics
Amy on
Beah defends books against charges of lies
Amy on
Beah defends books against charges of lies
wonga loan on
Comics
poker sites uk on
Comics
Laurence on
Discussion: On Sex in Fiction
888 poker on
Comics
http://www.playonlinepokerwebsites.co.uk on
Comics
poker site on
Comics
http://www.thebestonlinepokeruk.co.uk on
Comics
online poker sites on
Comics
Online Batman Games on
The Man Game: Lee Henderson Interview


Search blog:
Archives:
Old site archive:

January 2006
December 2005
November 2005
October 2005
September 2005
August 2005
July 2005
June 2005
May 2005
April 2005
March 2005
February 2005
January 2005
December 2004
November 2004
October 2004
September 2004
August 2004
July 2004
June 2004
May 2004
April 2004
March 2004
February 2004
January 2004
December 2003
November 2003
October 2003
September 2003
August 2003

Feeds: