Amazon and The Beez have issued an apology, calling their 1984 turn “stupid” and “thoughtless”. I’d like to add “underhanded”, “inconsiderate”, and “greedy”. Will this be enough to restore confidence in the Kindle platform (and right slumping media sales)? I know I’m not convinced. And neither is Cory Doctorow, surprisingly. I want to OWN my books. I mean, like studded dog collar and fetish harness own them. If books were spouses, I’d be one of those controlling douchebags you see leading their wives around by the elbow and the small of the back and interrupting them constantly when they try to talk. And if the Beez and his cronies got all up in my grill and tried to take my bitch, I’d be all like, “Books, honey, get back in the house, I’ll deal with this.” And then I’d cart my spray-on tan ass out in a muscle shirt and Mets cap and kick someone’s ass just for the sheer pleasure of it before doing a line of coke and buying a pit bull and a Kawasaki crotch rocket. … you know…  IF books were spouses. But I digress. As Moby pointed out today, Amazon has NEVER made a profit. Isn’t that a bit of a vortex to throw your money into, dear investor?

This is an apology for the way we previously handled illegally sold copies of 1984 and other novels on Kindle. Our “solution” to the problem was stupid, thoughtless, and painfully out of line with our principles. It is wholly self-inflicted, and we deserve the criticism we’ve received. We will use the scar tissue from this painful mistake to help make better decisions going forward, ones that match our mission.

With deep apology to our customers,

Jeff Bezos
Founder & CEO
Amazon.com