- File under, Unlikely in Sane Universe: Uman Thurman to play nun in adaptation of book about Ugandan schoolgirls
- File under, 15 Minutes is Years in Republican Time: Bigoted airhead beauty queen, now the darling of a Republican party that seems to really go in for bodies over brains these days, has a book deal to tell her side of the story (which is presumably more than the “Duhr…mens-es kissin’ mens-es is garsh durn wrong” shocker she’s already given out)
- File under, Necrophilia Pays Off for Rupert: Harper Collins is doing well after rushing a Michael Jackson book to press… (The book is square, trimmed, glue-bound, and easily ripped, much like Michael’s nose was)
- File under, But What Do They Wear for Fake Ears?: Twilight fans give Trek nerds a run for their stolen lunch money
- File under, Happy Smut Day: It’s been 50 years since the Yanks decided they wanted their smut more than they wanted Jesus… And they’re all going to hell for it!!!