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March 20, 2009

10 Steps to writing a DFW sentence

This is quite funny. Start with a basic sentence and Wallacesterize in 10 easy steps. (Thanks, DM)

5. Paralell-o-rize your structure (turn one noun into two):

It’s obvious someone helped with the script, but Mario did the choreography and the puppet work — his arms and fingers are perfect for the puppets — and it was, without question, his shoes on the pedal, the camera mounted on a tripod, mops and buckets moved out of frame.

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STOP HERE IF YOU ARE A MINIMALIST, WRITING COACH, OR JAMES WOOD
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6. Adjectival phrases: lots of them. (Note: apprx. 50% will include the word ‘little’):

It’s obvious someone helped with the script, but Mario did the choreography and most of the puppet work — his little S-shaped arms and curved fingers are perfect for the standard big-headed political puppets — and it was, without question, his little square shoes on the pedal, the camera mounted on a tripod, mops and dull-gray janitorial buckets moved out of frame.

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1 comment on “10 Steps to writing a DFW sentence”

  1. Mary Soderstrom says:

    For very small markets–by this I mean neighborhoods in a big city or a town either in the middle of nowhere or on the edges of a big city–print can work very well, and serve a valuable role. The advertisers are extremely local–real estate, groceries, restaurants eetc–and so is the news which isn’t going to be carried anywhere else. These papers typically are “throw-aways” yet they get read a lot.

    The internet model would seem to be the only way for a larger newspaper to go, and there’s no reason why you really can’t target your on-line advertising. My favourite example of what is already possible is that during the federal election in October and the Quebec election in December, I kept getting pop-ups for the BQ or the PQ on my stats counter site (run out of Australia I think) and Zimbio which is an American aggregator.

    Going the internet route raises two other matters which haven’t been addressed very often yet. One (maybe positive) is the amount of newsprint that saves (good for forests, bad for forest products companies and the people who work for them.) The other is almost certainly negative: who and where are these newspaper archives going to be saved? Given the deterioration of electronic media and the rapid change in their composition, will it be possible read today’s Seattle PI 50 years from now? And for that matter: where are the hard copy archives of Slate and Salon?

    I don’t like to think what a massive solar flare could do…

    Mary

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