You know, sometimes I think The Onion carefully doles out one lit story per issue, just to meet the niche market.

I’m tremendously sorry about your split with your husband. At the same time, I must confess, had your situation been presented to me as a piece of short fiction, I would have found it hackneyed and forgettable.

You must feel sad and uncertain, much like I felt when I was mapping out the primary conflict in my novel. It’s scary, this blank page that you fill with the future. And the primary conflict—or game plan, as I call it—is the toughest part of writing, which is why most contemporary writers ignore it. But you’ve got to have a plan. It’s like if you’re building a skyscraper, your primary conflict is your blueprint. It’s everything. Don’t you agree?

Best of all, this one comes with a built in Soft Skull Press plug.