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October 24, 2008

Bad characters

Which character has the worst name in fiction? (Didn’t Orson Scott Card have an alien villain named Swishy McLiberalstein?)

Before David Baddiel turned literary critic, he suggested that the problem with Dickens was that all his characters were called “Mr Nasty Bastard” or some other wholly descriptive moniker. He had a point. The 19th century is chock full of characters with unlikely, highly imaginative names – most of which came from Dickens’s pen. But his facility with names makes his stories fizz, which is necessary when you want to keep people reading over the course of 20 instalments. Who wants to meet the Black family or the Smiths of Camden, when you can hang out with Micawber, Pecksniff, Chuzzlewit or Toots?

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8 comments on “Bad characters”

  1. Corey Redekop says:

    Offhand, I’d say Lucius Malfoy is a pretty bad name. When I first heard it, I wondered why Rowling didn’t just name the kid ‘evil little pissant’ and get it over with.

  2. sj says:

    Speaking of naming characters — and this is not an excuse for a pile-on everybody — Margaret Atwood auctioned off a name in her next novel at a Walrus fundraiser in Calgary.
    The person with the hihest bid would have a character named after her. I think it went for 5 grand. The winner? Rebecca Eckler.

    Not a bad name for a character, actualy, all those hard k’s lined up like that. But still, it’s going to be distracting when you read it, no?

  3. sj says:

    I know, I know. I type too fast. Hence, the typos.

    Writers out there: Would you agree to name a character in that manner, even if it was for charity? You’d have no way of knowing if an Ima Cook or Ben Dover would appear.
    Or worse.

    Maybe that’s how JK Rowling got Lucius?

  4. Paul Clayton says:

    The bad name that still catches in my throat would be Phlegm Snopes. Boy, talk about a slick character…

  5. Mark says:

    re: Lucius Malfoy. The kid’s name was Draco. His father was Lucius.
    Just sayin’ ;-)
    BTW “Evil little pissant” would’ve been too strong. I was bullied by kids worse than him in grade school.

  6. John McFetridge says:

    Yes, I’ve auctioned off character naming rights in United Way auctions. So far the ‘winners’ have used their real names and haven’t complained about being corrupt cops or drug dealers.

    I don’t know what I’d do if someone wanted to use Ben Dover, but I don’t think it would be too hard to slip that into one of my books. Of course, I’d hope they’d get the United Way receipt in that name, too.

  7. simon terry says:

    Bones McGee. from a free book given out at my bookstore.
    i reiterate, BONES MCGEE.

  8. Monica says:

    excuse me, Simon. I didnt quite get that. Was that BONES MCGEE??????

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