.
| Hearsay: |
Personally, I’m ready to lay down my weapons and talk peace with our new cyborg monkey overlords.
In the experiment, a pair of macaque monkeys were fitted with electrodes the width of a human hair that transmitted signals from areas of the brain linked to movements.
The signals directed the arms to grasp marshmallows and fruit and place it into their mouths in “one natural-looking motion,” the Nature article said.
With their real arms restrained, the monkeys learned how to control the arms in a matter of days, negotiating obstacles and tilting their heads and moving their eyes without affecting the robotic limbs.
And what do you think they’ll do when released? That’s right, use their robot prosthetics to strangle the bastard scientists who strapped them down. If I’ve learned one thing from the movies, it’s that you never trust the subjects of torturous scientific experiments because they only have one thing on their minds: revenge. Oh, and brain eating. And we all know scientist brain is the veal of the cyborg zombie monkey culinary world.
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May 29th, 2008 at 10:22 am
Hail chimps!
May 29th, 2008 at 10:34 am
well, monkeys with robotic arms couldn’t do worse running the place, than we have.
May 29th, 2008 at 10:50 am
Just imagine the poo-flinging capabilities of a bionic arm on a monkey. I suspect in the future, we’ll see unaltered simians ostracized by their cyborg counterparts based on their inability to toss shit into geosynchronous orbit.
May 29th, 2008 at 12:09 pm
Just imagine the incredible pain these monkeys had to endure for these disgusting experiments to exist.
May 29th, 2008 at 2:12 pm
Does this mean they’ll be typing out Hamlet any sooner?
May 29th, 2008 at 2:19 pm
Gorch, now i feel bad for making fun. Poor simians. I love monkeys.