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September 26, 2006

I love you, you big Willum Shaksh-shperrrr

No, man, I mean I really reallyreally reeeeallly LOVE you, you know? Don’t you get it you shad shack of shit? Here, let me count the waysh. (Apparently Shakespeare quite often wrote whilst recovering from the quaffing of golden libations.)

Thus spake the Bard’s great contemporary, Ben Jonson: “I remember, the Players have often mentioned it as an honour to Shakespeare, that in his writing, (whatsoever he penn’d) hee never blotted out line. My answer hath beene, would he had blotted a thousand. Which the Players thought a malevolent speech.”

The loyal theatricals have turned. Dominic Dromgoole, artistic director of the Globe, has finally said the unsayable. Malevolently. There are “Monday morning” lines in Shakespeare’s masterpieces. They are the verse equivalent of the Friday afternoon lemons that used to roll off the production line at Dagenham.

This is a surprise? I thought everyone, pre-1825, had a flagon of mead in their grubby paws. Isn’t that how Man made it through the grosser parts of history?

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2 comments on “I love you, you big Willum Shaksh-shperrrr”

  1. Bill Peschel says:

    What an amazingly terrible story.

    In sum: Out of so many plays, there are a few clunkers.

    My god.

    And how did they miss the last couplet of R&J?

    “For never was a story of more woe
    Than this of Juliet and her Romeo.”

  2. Dixon says:

    There are terrible lines in Shakespeare, but the examples given by Sutherland aren’t among them. His is a bad argument poorly presented. I suppose (according to his logic) he must have been drunk when he wrote it.

    I humbly suggest that the line submitted by my former commenter isn’t so bad either. It all depends on how you speak it. I defy anyone, however, to utter the following from A&C with any modicum of grace:

    “So much uncurbable, her garboils, Caesar
    Made out of her impatience, which not wanted
    Shrewdness of policy too, I grieving grant
    Did you too much disquiet.”

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